Have We Outgrown Prejudice? I'll believe it when I see it.

Today, I watched a segment on The Newshour about the Texas Municipality (a side note: I was unaware that Alaska was a Southern state, somebody slept through geography and possibly english, too) that's fighting the Voting Rights law and then later on CBS, CSI: NY dealt with neo-nazis and nazis. It's not like it was planned at all. But I found it especially interesting that on the same day that lawyers are in court arguing that we, as a country, have surpassed any possible reversions to decades-old racist practices, a TV show illustrates that we still have people here in our country who see some people as, to quote the neo-nazi from the show, "animals." I don't think I'm alone in thinking it'd be nice to be able to say we've completely moved beyond racial discrimination, but I think that we'd be deluding ourselves. We haven't eliminated any of the discriminations and prejudices that plague our country. Not completely. As I mentioned last week, women still don't receive equal pay for equal work. Women are still a minority in both house and senate. And the possibility of Roe v. Wade being overturned has loomed in recent years. (But that's another controversial subject all together.) The existence of hate crime laws shows that prejudice has not been eradicated. And it's not limited to race. It extends to sexual preference, gender and religion. The case Citizen B spoke of last week is a prime example of the prejudices that are still alive and well here in our country. The other side of the coin, of course, was also raised, that the voting law says some states are less capable of governing themselves. And while I concede that is a valid point, I'm still inclined to side with the other side. Maybe it's the mountain of statistical evidence that Congress compiled in 2006 to support their extension of the law for the next 25 years. That former President Bush signed. That says to me that there's a good reason it was kept on the books. But I'll admit, I'm also influenced by the fact that the plaintiff in this case is doing this all so they can move their election location from a garage to an elementary school. Nobody in the state government in any of these states is fighting this law. Is the law actually prohibiting them from making that location change? Or do they just not think they should have to ask for permission? As I understand it (and I could be wrong), it's the latter. In which case, I honestly find the whole thing ridiculous and trumped up. But then, what do I know?

When did becoming a published novelist turn into my fall back plan?

I found out today that I didn't even make it to round 2 of interviews for my dream job. And they liked me. That's how bad the economy is. I applied for a job for which I'm imminently qualified and they liked me, yet I still can't get it. And it would have been a $4000/year paycut for me. It's probably a $10,000+ paycut for people with more experience than me and that's what it came down to. It's impossible for recent grads like me (and I've had 4 years) to compete with people who've been working for 7 or 10 or 15 years. I've now had to replace my freelance copy editing gig with a retail position that pays less than half. And if I fuck it up and they fire me, I lose all my unemployment benefits. Although unless I qualify for the government's emergency extension or whatever it's called, my benefits will barely last another month. I've been unemployed for nearly 8 months. It was easier getting a job straight out of college than it is now. My mom's idea is that I buckle down and finish my novels. And at this point, I might as well being a starving writer. It's not like I'm making money either way. And I may love shoes, but I don't think I can sell them forever.

More Quotables from "Wild Words from Wild Women"

I got caught up on my daily calendar this week. Which always results in a plethora of quotes I feel obligated to share or at least document for my own future reference.

"My mother always said that a rose is the perfect symbol of romance. It dies after a few days, its pretty petals fall off, and all you're left with is the ugly prickly thing." - Maureen Murphy

"It is better to light just one candle than to clean the whole apartment." - Eileen Courtney

(Amen, sister. I definitely felt like this as I cleaned the kitchen today. It is the world's most futile task. As soon as I finish, it's time to eat again and all my work was for nothing.)

"Sex is more fun than cars, but cars refuel quicker than men." - Germaine Greer

"I have always wanted to be a man, if only for the reason that I would like to have gauged the value of my intellect." - Margot Asquith

"Any God I ever felt in church I brought in with me." - Alice Walker

"You should always believe all you read in newspapers, as this makes them more interesting." - Rose Macaulay

(This made me think of Citizen B and her fabulous blog.)

"I don't buy temporary insanity as a murder defence. Breaking into someone's home and ironing all their clothes is temporary insanity." - Sue Kolinsky

"I feel not need for any other faith than my faith in human beings." - Pearl S. Buck

"Being a child is horrible. It is slightly better than being a tree or a piece of heavy machinery but not half as good as being a domestic cat." - Julie Burchill

(Personally, I think it's being a teenager that is horrible. I would have happily fast-forwarded through high school.)

"If men liked shopping, they'd call it research." - Cynthia Neims

Women Fight for the Right to Not be Treated as Property or Possessions

To continue the topic of feminism, here's an example of how the fight for women's rights continues around the world. Why is it that when men say they know the way things should be that it always entails them trying to turn women into property? I'm glad to see these women fighting back and I hope they succeed in bringing enough attention and pressure that the new laws don't become fully enacted. It's definitely a wake-up call that the fight for women's rights is not a thing of the past. Even here in America, women still don't get paid the same as men for the same work. I think it's still at around .75 to every $1, but I haven't seen the latest figures.

Jaxx Recommends...Music to Make You Get Up

I was feeling very down this weekend. Holidays do that to me. Even in college, I still spent most holidays with my family. My grama lived in Lincoln, so when all else failed, I always had family within a twenty-minute drive. Now I feel as if all my family has been ripped away from me. It's especially hard to deal with now that my life is so off-kilter. It was one thing to be on my own in Dallas when I was a successful adult. Now not only do I feel like a failure, but I can't even afford to visit any of my family as the closest members are a very long day of driving away and the rest can't be reached without a plane ticket. So when Citizen B introduced me to Lily Allen's music on Friday, it was exactly what I needed to pick me up. It makes me want to get up and dance and laugh and sing out loud. Her songs are quirky, fun and relatable with just a touch of the ridiculous to them. Her British accent definitely helps, too. There isn't a video for one of my favorite songs, "22" but I've included three of my favorite videos here for those who haven't heard her. Probably everyone already has. My dislike of radio leaves me behind the times on most things music. If you enjoy the ridiculous, check out the video for "Alfie," which is very cute while still having meaning.

"Sun is in the sky. Oh why, oh why would I wanna be anywhere else?" I quite like how this first video is composed with her seeing the world as a bright, perfect place contrasted with what is really there. I often feel like that. I want to think the best of things, but it can be a challenge.

"I don't know what's right or what's real anymore. And I don't know how I'm meant to feel anymore. When do you think it will all become clear? 'Cause I'm being taken over by the fear." Which is how I'm feeling as I start looking more seriously at going to grad school. It seems the only option, but is it really what I want to do? Some days it seems obvious and others I feel like I'm just setting myself up to fail.



I just love this song. Are you truly surprised?



I want to close with lyrics from "22" because it feels so fitting to my life right now:
"When she was 22, the future looked bright. She's nearly 30 now and she's out every night. I see that look in her face, she's got that look in her eye. She's thinking, 'How did I get here?' and wondering why. It's sad but it's true how society says her life is already over. There's nothing to do and there's nothing to say. Until a man of her dreams comes a long, picks her up and puts her over his shoulder. It seems so unlikely in this day and age."

And we're not supposed to want that anymore. I feel like I'm full of contradictions. I'm a feminist who loves romance novels and wants to be married. But I try to say it's different because I don't expect a man to support me. So does that make me complex, or a hypocrite? I was mostly happy being self-sufficient, independent and single before. But more and more I find myself feeling like there's something wrong with me because I'm still single or getting frustrated with the guys I do meet. Is it demanding to want a guy who has read even one book in the last year (or knows where Lincoln, Nebraska is)? I don't care if it makes me a nerd; I love books. I could give up everything else in my life, except for books and writing. And music. I can't imagine dating, much less marrying, someone who doesn't understand my passion for reading. I'm not asking for someone who reads what I read or even the amount I do. I simply want someone who occasionally wants to read something, anything, that isn't a tech manual or magazine. And apparently this is way too much to ask.

But I've gotten off topic. Admit it, her music got your feet tapping. And you're smiling, right? I definitely am (in spite of it all).

A Funny Tax Lawyer? What?

As much as I admire President Obama, I confess to being disappointed by all the tax scandal raised during the appointments to his cabinet. And also found it ironic that the others in question stepped down, while the secretary of the treasury (tim geitner) did not. This is another offering from my dad and it was too intelligent and creative to not post.

Picturing Our Debt

This comes courtesy of my dad and with all the bailout, budget, deficit and bonus amounts getting tossed about in the news, I felt it was apropos and worth sharing.

What does a trillion dollars look like? Using Google Sketchup, here's an idea of what exactly that amounts to.

Let's start with a $100 dollar bill, currently the largest U.S. denomination in general circulation. Most everyone has seen one, slightly fewer have owned one. Guaranteed to make friends wherever it goes.

A packet of one hundred $100 bills is less than 1/2" thick and contains $10,000. It fits in your pocket easily and is more than enough for a week or two of shamefully decadent fun.

Believe it or not, this next little pile is $1 million dollars (100 packets of $10,000). You could stuff that into a grocery bag and walk around with it.

While a measly $1 million looks a little unimpressive, $100 million is a little more respectable. It fits neatly on a standard pallet.

And $1 BILLION dollars. Now we're really getting somewhere.

Next we'll look at ONE TRILLION dollars. This is that number you've been hearing so much about. What is a trillion dollars? Well, it's a million million. It's a thousand billion. It's a one followed by 12 zeros.

Notice those pallets are double stacked and remember those are $100 bills.

So the next time you hear someone toss around the phrase "trillion dollars," that's what they're talking about.

Something else to think about. On The Daily Show the other night, Jon Stewart and his guest economist, Peter Orszag, were discussing the projected deficit for the country. It was around $15 trillion over the next 10 years if we make cuts. So you have to take that last image and multiple it by 15. And you thought it was a horrifying sight by itself? Thank God my personal debt is still below the single pack of $10,000. Which is helped the fact that I have not had any fast food, bought any books, purchased alcohol or spent money going out more than one night a week since February 23rd. Unfortunately, while my friends who gave up things for lent get to start enjoying them again after Sunday, I have to keep up my budget crackdown because I need to limit how much I'm borrowing from my parents.

Happy April Fool's Day! (I love Pandas, too!)

The thing about April Fool's Day is that it's not nearly as much fun when you're grown up and living alone. My sister and I used to get a kick out of pulling pranks on our mom (for some reason, I don't recall us ever playing tricks on one another). There was the year we put a rubber band around the kitchen sink sprayer so that it sprayed her in the face when she switched the faucet on. Then there were the times I set my mom's alarm clock and watch backwards or forwards to confuse her in the morning. We also never pulled tricks on Dad. Mom was always the target. I think there was also an episode with an exchange of salt and sugar. And then, in college, I called her and told her I was eloping to vegas with a boy I met at the coffee shop that afternoon. Now that I'm living alone, there's no one to prank. Nothing to watch out for either. Anyways, because of this I especially enjoy Google's yearly jokes. It must be so much fun to work with such a creative group of people. If you haven't read about CADIE yet, you should. It's hilarious.

I encountered this quote the other day and it's exactly how writing is for me. Yet I'm compelled to keep at it.
"A writer is a person for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people." - Thomas Mann