"If life could be like he sees it on tv, he wouldn't have to hurt so bad."

That line from one of my favorite songs by The Vandals just seemed an appropriate way to open this post.

I got the most recent season dvds of Psych and How I met your mother last week, so I spent the last few days having marathon watching sessions (until my bedroom dvd player died, that is. poor overly used player, may it rest in peace). It reminded me of just how AWESOMELY HILARIOUS they both are. There are also two scenes from the end of the season of HIMYM that just really hit me. So I'm posting them.

Ted: "I'm gonna say something out loud that I've been doing a pretty good job of not saying out loud lately. What you and Tony have, what I thought for a second you and I had, what I know Lily and Marshall have. I want that. I do. I keep waiting for it to happen and waiting for it to happen and... I guess I'm just... I'm tired of waiting. And that is all I'm going to say on that subject."
Stella: "You know I once talked my way out of a speeding ticket?
Ted: "Really?"
Stella: "I was heading upstate to my parents' house, doing like 90 on this country road, and I got pulled over. So this cop gets out of his car, swaggers on over and says, 'Young lady, I have been waiting for you all day.' So I looked up at him and I said, 'I'm so sorry, officer. I got here as fast as I could.' "
Ted: "For real?"
Stella: "No, it's an old joke. I know that you're tired of waiting. And you may have to wait a little while more, but she's on her way, Ted, and she's getting here as fast as she can."

It reminds me of how one of my friends is always saying that the person we're meant to be with is being prepared for us, in the same way that we're being prepared for them and we will meet when we're both finally ready for it.

Ted: "How am I going to come back from this?"
Lily: "Do you really want to come back from this?"
Ted: "What do you mean?"
Lily: "Architecture is killing you, Ted, and it's killing us to watch it killing you. You're like that goat with the wash cloth. You want it so bad. And every time the world tries to take it away from you, you keep grabbing it. You know what? It's just a wash cloth. Why do you even want it?"
Ted: "Because I have to be an architect. That's the plan."
Lily: "Screw the plan. I planned on being a famous artist. Marshall planned on being an environmental lawyer. Robin planned on being a TV reporter...Barney planned on being a violinist...Look, you can't design your life like a building. It doesn't work that way. You just have to live it and it will design itself."
Ted: "So I should just do nothing?"
Lily: "No. Listen to what the world is telling you to do and take the leap."

This hits so close to home because I struggled with this a lot the past year. I planned on being a writer. But I can't support myself with that yet. And being a proofreader isn't getting me anywhere. I've moved backwards the past year rather than forwards. I used to do proofing and editing and writing. Now I'm solely a proofer. I can't see any way forward in this field that's going to make me happy in five or ten years. So I'm taking the leap. I'm trying something new. If I'm lucky I won't plummet to the ground with my dreams shattered around me. Either way, it's a huge risk and a lot of work. But I know it's the only way I'll be able to do more than survive.

Jaxx Recommends...Songs about Celebrity Crushes

One of the problems with living alone is that the silence can become overwhelming. This has developed a bad habit of mine to turn the TV on as background noise most of the time that I'm home. I often end up watching bad TV because of this, though I'm usually (as I was last night) reading at the same time. There's nothing like an evening of silly TV, romance novels and ice cream. Anyways, last night there was seriously NOTHING on that I wanted to watch and hadn't seen multiple times or have on DVD, so I ended up watching America's Got Talent. And it was surprisingly HILARIOUS. Needless to say, there are plenty of freaks in America, way more than people with true talent, I think. But this guy (though definitely not the best singer/performer of the bunch) amused me in a good way. And reminded me of one of my favorite singers of all time: Bree Sharp. I still remember sitting in the auditorium of Drake University in Des Moines with my mock trial teammate and friend listening to A Cheap and Evil Girl on her cd player. "David Duchovny" is the song that got me hooked on her, so it's only right that I post it here along with the song by David Johnson that everyone (and I know the editors flashed the photo of David Hasselhoff and Pamela Anderson together for exactly this reason) thought was just a so-so song about a some random celebrity crush, but luckily Sharon Osbourne held off on pressing her buzzer long enough for the surprise to be revealed. I still can't believe he actually made it on, but I thought it was a great lesson to see the two who pressed their no way buzzers be the ones to vote yes, and the one person who didn't be the one to vote no. And I'll finish this off with the question: What is it about men named David? (Though for the record, I've never understood anyone's attraction to David H.)

Have We Outgrown Prejudice? I'll believe it when I see it.

Today, I watched a segment on The Newshour about the Texas Municipality (a side note: I was unaware that Alaska was a Southern state, somebody slept through geography and possibly english, too) that's fighting the Voting Rights law and then later on CBS, CSI: NY dealt with neo-nazis and nazis. It's not like it was planned at all. But I found it especially interesting that on the same day that lawyers are in court arguing that we, as a country, have surpassed any possible reversions to decades-old racist practices, a TV show illustrates that we still have people here in our country who see some people as, to quote the neo-nazi from the show, "animals." I don't think I'm alone in thinking it'd be nice to be able to say we've completely moved beyond racial discrimination, but I think that we'd be deluding ourselves. We haven't eliminated any of the discriminations and prejudices that plague our country. Not completely. As I mentioned last week, women still don't receive equal pay for equal work. Women are still a minority in both house and senate. And the possibility of Roe v. Wade being overturned has loomed in recent years. (But that's another controversial subject all together.) The existence of hate crime laws shows that prejudice has not been eradicated. And it's not limited to race. It extends to sexual preference, gender and religion. The case Citizen B spoke of last week is a prime example of the prejudices that are still alive and well here in our country. The other side of the coin, of course, was also raised, that the voting law says some states are less capable of governing themselves. And while I concede that is a valid point, I'm still inclined to side with the other side. Maybe it's the mountain of statistical evidence that Congress compiled in 2006 to support their extension of the law for the next 25 years. That former President Bush signed. That says to me that there's a good reason it was kept on the books. But I'll admit, I'm also influenced by the fact that the plaintiff in this case is doing this all so they can move their election location from a garage to an elementary school. Nobody in the state government in any of these states is fighting this law. Is the law actually prohibiting them from making that location change? Or do they just not think they should have to ask for permission? As I understand it (and I could be wrong), it's the latter. In which case, I honestly find the whole thing ridiculous and trumped up. But then, what do I know?

Who Says Comedians Don't Ask the Tough Questions?

And the more important thing to ponder: Why does it take a Comedy Show, a News Show Parody, to ask the questions that need to be asked? Jim Cramer whines about how CEOs lied to him, but (and feel free to speak up if you disagree) isn't it the job of the REPORTER to check facts and figure out if the people they're getting their info from are lying to them? If all you're going to do is parrot the lines that CEOs and other executives give you, then aren't you really, for all intents and purposes, nothing more than a Publicist? The companies have PR to spread the news they want people to know. I was under the impression (from my high school newspaper classes and Veronica Mars) that reporters were supposed to research their stories and substantiate their facts with evidence. I say, Jim Cramer, stop your whining. You have the power of the press behind you, learn how to run a fucking financial background check (or whatever they call it). No intelligent CEO is going to go on national TV and say "My company is full of shit and we're going to crash and burn and all your money will go POOF!" It should be taken as a given that they're putting the most positive Pollyanna spin on whatever they tell you. The job of the reporter is to sort the lies from the truth and tell us "the viewer" which is which to the best of their knowledge. As Jon Stewart points out, "Isn't that financial reporting?" and later, "I'm under the assumption and maybe this is purely ridiculous, but I'm under the assumption that you don't just take their word at face value. You actually then go around and try and figure it out."

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	M - Th 11p / 10c
Jim Cramer Unedited Interview Pt. 1
comedycentral.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Important Things w/ Demetri Martin Political Humor

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	M - Th 11p / 10c
Jim Cramer Unedited Interview Pt. 2
comedycentral.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Important Things w/ Demetri Martin Political Humor

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	M - Th 11p / 10c
Jim Cramer Unedited Interview Pt. 3
comedycentral.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Important Things w/ Demetri Martin Political Humor

You gotta admit it. Jon Stewart definitely showed up Jim Cramer, who came across--to me anyway--as a wishy-washy flip-flopper who just says what he thinks people want to hear and whines when anyone points out the inconsistencies. (Side Note: I think that Jim Cramer started this whole thing, took Stewart's original criticism that was aimed at CNBC in general personally, as a publicity stunt to try and get the ratings for his show up. Sad, pathetic man.)

Let the Angry Mobs Arise! (Sharpen Your Pitchforks and Your Wit!)

"Irony is the bringing together of contradictory truths to make out of the contradiction a new truth with a laugh or a smile. I confess that a truth must come with one or the other or I count it as false and deny it the very nature of humanity itself." - Anne Hathaway, Becoming Jane
With that in mind, I present the following Comedy Central videos on AIG. You should also visit Citizen B's blog to join the debate on whether or not the government should tax the bonuses back.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	M - Th 11p / 10c
AIG Bailout Money Bonuses
comedycentral.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Important Things w/ Demetri Martin Political Humor

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	M - Th 11p / 10c
The Notorious AIG - Outrage
comedycentral.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Important Things w/ Demetri Martin Political Humor

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	M - Th 11p / 10c
The Notorious AIG - Congress Wants to Blame Someone
comedycentral.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Important Things w/ Demetri Martin Political Humor

Since the space node 3 naming contest has closed, I propose a new contest to rename AIG. As everyone now despises the company and all it stands for, it will now have to enter the Witless Protection Program in order to attract future business (in addition to possibly approaching congress for additional bailout funds as the first billion or so may not be quite enough). Feel free to submit your name suggestions in the comments below. If I get any, I'll create a poll of them.

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Stephen's Angry Mob Will Crush AIG
comedycentral.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Mark Sanford

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
The Word - Keeping Our Heads
comedycentral.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Mark Sanford

WE Makes Women Everywhere Look Bad

Saturday was a day of experiences. I'm going to save the St. Patty's Parade fun and pics for tomorrow (it seems more appropriate). Today I'm more interested in analyzing the so bad it's almost funny TV my friends and I got sucked into on Saturday night. WE has a new reality show, called Surprise Wedding. Its premise? Desperate women trick their boyfriends into coming on the show and then propose to them on TV and they're given an hour or so to decide whether or not they want to commit. That in and of itself is enough to send me screaming from the room. Add to it that these women are a) wearing some of the most HIDEOUS, TACKY gowns ever seen and b) spouting cliched cutesy crap like "Let's dive into the next chapter of our life together." (Not the exact quote, but one girl talked about diving, another talked about new chapters. It was all cringe-worthy.) But it's one of those shows that screams train wreck and you just can't help yourself. You must watch. (The America's Next Top Model marathons on Oxygen do this to me. I don't want to watch them, but they suck me in and the next thing I know, I'm hooked and I can't turn it off.) So we're watching the five women propose to their boyfriends (three of whom look decidedly frightened and one I thought would have certainly run from the stage if they hadn't had someone standing there to stop him) and betting which ones would say no. Because we were sure that someone would. Then we learn that none of these women (whose woe is me stories of their boyfriends' inabilities to commit were played earlier) have been with these men for more than two years. And suddenly, I'm all, WHOA, hold on. You cannot possibly be THAT desperate THAT soon. Seriously, I would think that being with a guy for less than two years before a proposal ought to be viewed as a NORMAL time period in which you get to know one another. And this show makes it out to be this incredibly long period of time. After a year and three months (the shortest of the relationships), you should NOT be so desperate to get married that you have to trick your boyfriend into getting married on TV in Vegas wearing a cheap, tacky dress that doesn't fit. And then, just when we thought this show couldn't possibly get any worse, they brought the men out and ALL OF THEM SAID YES. Seriously, what the fuck? Even the guy, who we're not sure, but it's quite possible he's gay and hasn't realized it yet, said yes (he was also the one who looked like he wanted to flee from the stage at the beginning). It totally ruined the show. I mean, we figured going in that at least one would have to say yes, but we also figured at least one would say no. And honestly, we (four girls) were rooting for the guys on this one. As one of my friends pointed out, this is a horrible example for girls out there. It says it's okay to lie and trick your boyfriend. It says that you should be desperate to get married before you really know someone very well. It says that this is an acceptable way to start out your life together. And it's not. Now, I'm waiting for a follow-up show, called Surprise Divorce, where the men bring the women back and announce they're leaving them. This is why I don't like WE. It's almost as bad as Lifetime. Now, if the show had been on Oxygen, the women would have all been with the guys for at least 5 years. The men would all be horrid commitment-phobes like Mr. Big from Sex and the City. Also, all of the men would say hell no. And then the women would throw hissy fits and tantrums, but if you checked up on them six months later, half of them would be back with the guys. Now that would be a show worth watching. As for Surprise Wedding, I won't be watching it again because it's only so bad it's funny if at least one guy says no. Otherwise, it's just a step backwards for women everywhere.