I'm starting to wonder if I was a murderer or other equally horrible human being in a previous life, because if there is such a thing as Karma, I'm at a loss as to what horrible thing (or things) I have done to earn myself so much crap. As I said to a friend yesterday, "It feels like life is kicking my ass." Because my life doesn't already suck enough, yesterday I got into an accident on the way to a friend's house. Thank god no one was injured and the insurance company is taking care of the other car (it was, of course, declared my fault). Now my beautiful car is marred, but, of course, I cannot afford even the $500 deductible at the moment and it is driveable, so I will have to wait until I am fully employed again to get it repaired. In the past six months, I have: 1) been laid off and unable to find gainful employment; 2) lost my computer and everything upon it to a harddrive crash, and 3) been involved in a car accident. I am desperately hoping that bad things really do only come in threes. If it's not due to Karma, then some more major deity (I used to say minor deity when the occasional shitty thing happened, but I've decided that apparently I've gone beyond that now) is incredibly pissed off at me. How does one go about appeasing deities anymore? I don't have animals to slaughter or crops to burn. I guess I could leave the cookies in the oven too long, but that doesn't seem like much of a substitute. Besides, if that was the answer, I would think that the quiche I spilled on the bottom of the oven and had to clean off last month would have done the trick. I did make sure that I went out this weekend and did not hole up in my apartment too afraid to leave my apartment, but if something good doesn't happen soon, I'm close to giving up on the idea that life outside my apartment is worth interacting with. Oh, to be a Regency-Era lady. I wouldn't need a job. I wouldn't have to drive a car. I wouldn't be single and 26. I could wear pretty dresses. I could go to fancy balls and dance and flirt with handsome men. I could spend my days reading, cross-stitching, drawing and playing the piano. Somedays I just want the simple simplicity of living out my life as a character of a Jane Austen novel. And I realize I would probably have been an impoverished maid, but, fuck it, this is my fantasy world and that means the men are all rich, handsome and honorable and the women are never poor, fat and alone.
Disadvantages to living in Regency England:
ReplyDeleteBathing once a month
No deodorant
Possibility of husband dying in Napoleonic Wars
No women's suffrage
Pressure from society to bear children, especially male children
No feminine hygiene products
Poor city sanitation
No indoor plumbing
Possibility of husband being old and boring
No central heat or air conditioning
Death in childbirth
Washing laundry by hand with nasty old soap
Horse breaks an ankle meaning you are stranded and you have to kill the horse
Sometimes I wonder if life really was simpler in the past, or if it is romanticized because we spend less time struggling for survival, leaving us more time for contemplation.
HUSH! What did I say about ragging on my fantasy? It's my bloody fantasy world! In my fantasy world, it's the ideal time in which to live. Pretty dresses without corsets that you can move in. Besides, did you notice that I did not say I wanted to live in Regency England. I said I wished to live in a Jane Austen novel. There is a very big difference. Characters in novels do not have to worry about mundane details like bathing, etc. :-P
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